for. Breaking the Chain of. Low Self-Esteem: A Proven Program for Recovery from LSE. This E-Book is copyrighted material and may be printed for personal use. The Personal Workbook for Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem - Ebook download as PDF File .pdf), Text File .txt) or read book online. Have you ever had. Breaking the chain of low self-esteem by Marilyn J. Sorensen, , Wolf Pub. edition, in English.
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Editorial Reviews. Review. Although the book is written for lay people who suffer from LSE, Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem site Edition. by Marilyn. Download the Book:The Personal Workbook For Breaking The Chain Of Low Self -Esteem: Step 2 Of The Sorensen Low Self-Esteem Recovery Program PDF For. Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem book. Read 6 reviews from the world's largest community for readers. Marilyn Sorensen is the Founder and Director o.
Be sure to have them with you at all times. Those of us who have backpacked the Timberline Trail that goes around the top of Mount Hood in Oregon know that you hike up to a ridge and then down the other side over and over again as you circle the mountain.
On such a trek in late August, you tiredly trudge to the top of a ridge only to be rewarded by the breathtaking beauty of a mountain stream surrounded by fields of wild flowers. Strolling through the valley while feasting on the view, you find yourself re-energized, ready for the next uphill climb. A couple of hours later, feeling fatigued but pleased with your progress, you make it to another rise where before you is spread out a white sheet of snow that you must carefully cross and later a roaring river that you must shimmy across on a fallen tree trunk.
Recovery from LSE is a similar adventure following a labyrinth-like path of twists and turns, often uphill and often both tiring and demanding, yet with small victories along the way that outweigh the adversity and that stimulate you to continue moving forward.
In this journey, you are encouraged to take time to smell the flowers as you goto celebrate your progress. Dont rushnew skills and attitudes are built over time. But dont loiter either; progress is best made by continually plodding along the trail. So, determinedly keeping your eyes on the goal, continue to place one foot in front of the other, moving steadily onward.
As you do, you will begin to envision a new future and renewed hope that you can fulfill your dreams. Do what you can. Some people have jobs and schedules that will allow them to incorporate these exercises into their work life. Others do not so that the time they This E-Book is copyrighted material and may be printed for personal use only. The Personal Workbook have available to focus on this journey must be relegated to early mornings, noon hours, evenings, and weekends.
People who are often on the road or in the air as a part of their job can use these periods of commuting to routinely and frequently practice reshaping their thinking for long periods of time, while others will have to work it into already busy lifestyles.
Just remember, your success and the timeliness in which you reach your destination is directly related to the amount of time you devote to the journey and the consistency with which you follow the instructions.
As with anything worth achieving, dogged determination and effort are required. So now you are ready to begin. Best wishes for a successful and rewarding journey of recovery! Others have attained freedom and a new life through this process. You can do it too! You will need only the following things to begin this journey: 1.
Your own unused copy of this workbook 2. You will be required to read Breaking the Chain as you work through this book. A supply of 3x5 cards and a notebook, or a Self-Esteem Recovery Toolkit Toolkits can be downloadd at www. How to use this Workbook 1. There are two possible ways to use this workbook.
You may work straight through the workbook, doing Obstacle 1, then Obstacle 2 followed by Obstacle 3, then Obstacle 4, and then Obstacle 5. For those of you that need to feel the orderliness of doing it this way, feel free to do so. It is what most of us are used to and seems most logical. If you choose to do it this way you must read Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem in its entirety before beginning as this book is a companion to Breaking the Chain Or you may follow the optional directions indicated by the following sign: Throughout Obstacles 1, 2, 3, and 4, this arrow is placed to guide you in an alternate way of using this workbook, which the author recommends.
The arrows direct you to read chapters from Breaking the Chain or to move to a different section of this book where you will work on a different Obstacle for a time. Using the This E-Book is copyrighted material and may be printed for personal use only. How to Use This Workbook workbook this way will mean moving back and forth between sections so that you are eventually working on the whole of your self-esteem recovery at one time.
This is the way recovery would be handled in therapy where you would work on more than one issue at a time. This method has proven to aid the LSE sufferer in seeing his progress in day to day challenges rather than feeling that he is merely gaining new information.
Additionally, because you are working on all of the issues at the same time, your insight into one Obstacle will help you better understand the big picture of what recovery entails and what the final goal is. Finally, this method may be the fastest form of recovery, if you do all that you are instructed to do. When you are directed to read a portion from the book, Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem, always do so. Even if you have already read the book in its entirety, refreshing your memory by rereading the segments suggested at the appropriate time will be very critical to your recovery progress.
Dont skip the explanations in each section. They contain new information not mentioned in the mother book. Similarly, dont skip over portions that seem tedious.
Instead, if you need to, take a break and come back to the work at another time. Devote time to this workbook on a regular basis. Whether daily or twice a week, try to schedule regular periods of uninterrupted time for these exercises. Allowing too much time to pass between sessions will slow or retard your progress, causing you to become discouraged.
Classifications Dewey Decimal Class S46 S67 The Physical Object Pagination p. Readers waiting for this title: Check nearby libraries with: WorldCat Library. download this book site. Share this book Facebook. History Created July 9, 2 revisions Download catalog record: Wikipedia citation Close. Edit Last edited by ImportBot August 11, History 1 edition of Breaking the chain of low self-esteem found in the catalog. August 11, Unlike the simplistic view that people often have of low self-esteem.
But recovery is possible. Rather this is a program that: Low self-esteem. Whether you are Illustrates how feelings are the result of thinking. Clarifies how these unhealthy people create LSE in young people by their inappropriate behavior and distorted messages 4. This reality is not intended to discourage you or to weed out the faint of heart. LSE becomes solidified over a period of years. In the beginning. Explains the irrational and faulty thinking that evolves from this inappropriate behavior and these distorted messages 5.
Illuminates the tumultuous emotions and self-sabotaging behaviors that evolve from faulty thinking 6. For this journey of recovery will be a pilgrimage to a foreign way of thinking. One week you may feel you are making great progress.
For example. Be patient with yourself. When this happens. For instance. You may experience moments of sadness over time wasted or relationships that have failed. At times this expedition will reveal new insights to you. In all likelihood. Do not let this dissuade you from your goal of recovery. If you have not yet taken it. There is also the plateau effect when learning new skills. We often learn the basics but have to work much harder to improve from a minimal skill level to that of being able to use the skill in new circumstances or when tested.
During the stages of discovery. As you do. Some people have jobs and schedules that will allow them to incorporate these exercises into their work life. Others do not so that the time they This E-Book is copyrighted material and may be printed for personal use only.
Be sure to have them with you at all times. Strolling through the valley while feasting on the view. A couple of hours later. Do what you can. On such a trek in late August. Those of us who have backpacked the Timberline Trail that goes around the top of Mount Hood in Oregon know that you hike up to a ridge and then down the other side over and over again as you circle the mountain.
Try to visualize this journey as a long hike. In this journey. Recovery from LSE is a similar adventure following a labyrinth-like path of twists and turns. Having someone to share this experience with. The arrows direct you to read chapters from Breaking the Chain… or to move to a different section of this book where you will work on a different Obstacle for a time.
Your own unused copy of this workbook 2. Using the This E-Book is copyrighted material and may be printed for personal use only. You can do it too! You will need only the following things to begin this journey: You may work straight through the workbook. You will be required to read Breaking the Chain… as you work through this book.
The Personal Workbook for Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem
So now you are ready to begin. Best wishes for a successful and rewarding journey of recovery! Others have attained freedom and a new life through this process. A supply of 3x5 cards and a notebook. For those of you that need to feel the orderliness of doing it this way. Just remember. The Personal Workbook 5 have available to focus on this journey must be relegated to early mornings. People who are often on the road or in the air as a part of their job can use these periods of commuting to routinely and frequently practice reshaping their thinking for long periods of time.
There are two possible ways to use this workbook. How to use this Workbook 1. Throughout Obstacles 1. As with anything worth achieving. It is what most of us are used to and seems most logical. It is strongly recommended that you use your Self-Esteem Recovery Cards on a regular basis. This is the ongoing work of overcoming LSE without which your recovery will be thwarted and your present progress will likely regress.
Breaking the chain of low self-esteem
Obstacle 5. This additional motivation and accountability often proves helpful to most people. Allowing too much time to pass between sessions will slow or retard your progress. Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem. Even if you have already read the book in its entirety. This method has proven to aid the LSE sufferer in seeing his progress in day to day challenges rather than feeling that he is merely gaining new information. Continue to use them until you have developed new thinking patterns and find that LSE is seldom a problem in your life.
Whether daily or twice a week. Devote time to this workbook on a regular basis. They contain new information not mentioned in the mother book. Be sure to do so. This is the way recovery would be handled in therapy where you would work on more than one issue at a time. If you are in therapy. When you are directed to read a portion from the book. When you finish with the workbook. Just as a recovering alcoholic must continue to fight the urge to drink.
The path to recovery is difficult. The Personal Workbook 7 The journey of recovery from low self-esteem involves restructuring your life. Anticipate picking up speed with each new insight until one day without warning you realize that your pace seems quicker. As you become more discerning and aware of your self-defeating behavior. As you become more confident and less needy. All that is required is that you keep your eyes on the possibility of an abundant and fulfilling life—a prospect that was snatched from you long before you could even imagine it.
Do not attempt to race madly to the finish line or even to complete the trek quickly. All in all. If you persist to the end of this pilgrimage. Just remember that such an expedition requires time. You will become more balanced and self-assured. Those with LSE can recover from it to the point where they seldom face a problem related to low self-esteem.
And while there is no shortcut to overcoming low self-esteem. The most important step in the journey to overcome LSE.
Many people go through life never realizing that LSE is their real issue or never being able to fully acknowledge it. On the other hand. Because of you have struggled with LSE. If you are looking at this workbook.
The fact that you are now beginning this workbook is a clear indication that you have already developed that awareness. These two activities should clarify whether or not you are one of the millions who suffer from this problem. Recognizing the Problem People operate largely on the basis of the beliefs they hold about themselves and their own capabilities. Hopefully you have not gone through many years of misdirected therapy and hopefully you also recognize that the symptoms of depression.
Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem and that you also take the questionnaire at the end of chapter one in that book. As you learn more about what it means to have low self-esteem. Those who believe they are capable are generally more motivated and able to express their creativity because they have confidence that they will succeed.
Instead the results may well be invisible at first.
Obstacle 3: Completing the exercises will give you the tools to continue the recovery process on your own. Answer the Questionnaire at the end of that chapter and then return to this page. Obstacle 4: Catching Up. Obstacle 5: Completing the Journey. Since children are born unable to analyze or draw conclusions. Even most psychologists. What is It?
The Personal Workbook 9 anywhere—this is to be expected. Obstacle 2: The next section. Rewriting the Script focuses on becoming aware of.
The journey you are beginning is one that is not well known or well traveled. Remember this when the work gets tedious and demanding: At other times. Most therapists view low self-esteem as a symptom of other disorders in the same way a cough is a symptom This E-Book is copyrighted material and may be printed for personal use only. Certainly his LSE did not begin as the result of an innate critical spirit or from being born thinking he was inferior.
You need not be ashamed that you have LSE. Facts to Remember as you Begin 1. You may have been ridiculed for admitting you have LSE or for acting in ways that indicate you do. If you have already read the book. You may even want to share this awareness with a professional someday. In other words. Many recommend medication for these issues. And because awareness is the first step to resolving any problem.
Because you now recognize that you have LSE. If you have low self-esteem. Recognizing the Problem of a cold or of bronchitis. You may even read magazine articles or hear television commercials that suggest you have social anxiety disorder.
The depression. It is. The exceptions to this rule. LSE is viewed as only a symptom meaning that low self-esteem would not be the focus of treatment. The Personal Workbook 11 you to self-sabotage your dreams. What then are they reactions to. LSE is a serious problem.
Everyone who experiences these feelings of doubt about their competence. LSE is not the cause of every mental problem. LSE is your core issue. While you recognize that low self-esteem has negatively affected your life.
But how can the basic way you view your life and yourself be only a symptom when in fact. This will serve to limit periods in uncomfortable situations where your low selfesteem may be further damaged.
You may want to make other plans for where you spend your holidays. In the meantime. This means. It will be even more difficult to work through your recovery issues if you allow those responsible for shaping your negative and distorted thinking in the first place to continue inundating you with the same destructive behaviors and attitudes. Recognizing the Problem 4. Parents often fit into this category because quite often they are the ones who neglected you.
And they may well continue to be critical of who you are and what you do. Support will greatly aid you in your recovery process. During this time of recovery. You may need to distance yourself from some of the people in your life while in recovery. Because you suffer from low self-esteem. In this journey as well as in most aspects of our lives.
Or you may have established This E-Book is copyrighted material and may be printed for personal use only.
Having an unsupportive spouse or partner will be more difficult. If this is true for you and you live near your parents. Medication is seldom necessary for those with LSE. If you continue to feel safe. Whether you now have that significant advocate in your life. If you find one or more such individuals. On rare occasions.
If your LSE stems in part from never receiving the support you needed. They may choose instead to enter therapy for guidance and support and to rely on their therapist for support until they gain the skills to find people with whom they can establish a healthy and mutually gratifying relationship.
Try to be patient with your recovery process and the journey you must take to get there. Recovery takes time. Such a friend will not only help you in your recovery but can serve as a stable source of feedback when tough decisions arise or when you need to check out your perceptions.
The Personal Workbook 13 relationships with others who have low self-esteem because you thought similarly. If and when they go off the medication. Recovery will come. Once LSE attitudes and beliefs are established and when they have been practiced for years.
It is unlikely that you will need to use medication in order to recover from low self-esteem. There is no quick fix. In most cases. Recognizing the Problem self-esteem may need to use medication as a temporary measure to even be able to begin the process of recovery. For most LSE victims. How about you? This is a very extensive list and is intended to be so.
This might be the case for LSE sufferers whose social skills are seriously impaired due to years of isolation and whose anxiety levels are excessively high.
We are all familiar with the experience of being asked. What makes this tape so damaging? Unlike the script that holds the life story of a person with healthy self-esteem. Without recovery from LSE. Emblazoned on the videotape of our minds and reinforced through recurring memories of past events.
His tape will be filled with painful events and negative experiences that say he is unworthy. Thus if the situations that he has encountered ended poorly. When compiled. We all have such a videotape. This tape is cemented in our thoughts and is extremely difficult to alter. He recognizes that others are less often offended and seem better able to take in stride what goes on around them.
Just as naturally. The young child cannot sort out the fact that the messages these adults have relayed. Rewriting the Script to the children under their watch. At issue here is what we tell ourselves. Whether consciously or unconsciously. Fellow LSE sufferers may instantly sense the threat or conflict being experienced by their comrades.
Beginning at birth. For those with LSE. Unconscious of their own positive videotape. The child on the receiving end of this communication has no way of analyzing what is true and what is not. Each of us talks to ourselves all day. The end result is that she thinks of herself as less adequate than others.
Getting beyond Obstacle 2 is not simple nor can it be accomplished quickly. When his mother asks him how his day went. Tony developed low self-esteem and the negative self-talk that always accompanies it. Tony silently berates himself for being so dumb. Altering this self-talk. Each time Tony makes such an inaccurate judgement. The Personal Workbook 19 Tony: Distorted self-talk As a child.
In each incident. Tony tells himself. His first thought always has a negative slant in that he surmises that the other person is thinking disapprovingly about him.
Tony misreads the behavior and intentions of others. When a girl sincerely smiles at him. This is typical behavior for those with low self-esteem: Tony responds rudely. In each case. Tony inaccurately jumps to the conclusion that he is about to be fired. Now a junior in high school.
Altering our way of talking to ourselves requires that we learn to recognize. First we must become aware of how this negative—and cont. Second, we must become aware of how often we talk to ourselves this way, how frequently our messages are distorted, and what these specific messages are. The following pages and examples will help you become more conscious of how people with low self-esteem think. Many of us think that we are the only one who thinks like this or acts in self-defeating ways, but these examples will demonstrate patterns that are common to all people who suffer from low self-esteem.
Thus, all LSE sufferers are to some extent anxious and fearful, and they routinely say negative things to themselves about themselves, escalating their anxiety to even more extreme levels in situations where people with healthy self-esteem would experience minimal or no discomfort. Thus, the LSE sufferer comes into every situation with some anxiety based on years of self-doubt. When a new and thus unfamiliar opportunity arises, he tries to analyze it, looking for similarities to past negative events.
If he finds any such similarities, he inevitably concludes that the threat of rejection is too great, that the possibility of saying or doing something inappropriate is too risky. Fearful of making a mistake and embarrassing himself, he finds a reason to avoid the event.
People with severe low self-esteem have developed LSE as the result of an exceptionally dysfunctional background, whether as the result of neglect or abandonment, consistently harsh criticism and disapproval, or abuse.
Such LSE sufferers are more likely to experience fear and anxiety in nearly all situations they encounter, while others with mild to moderate LSE may only experience this trepidation. After it surfaces, the fear, anxiety, and discomfort may propel the person with LSE to respond in ways he will regret and later castigate himself for. Or he will fail to respond in ways he later realizes he should have, causing more reason for alarm when faced with the next unfamiliar situation. Experiencing several of these excruciating events can be sufficiently painful to convince him to quit trying, to avoid future involvement, and to isolate.
Some LSE sufferers will become enraged with both themselves and their environment and, on occasion, they will act out their hostile feelings. Everyone—with or without LSE—experiences fear and anxiety. This is not unusual and we will never be able to entirely rid ourselves of either one.
The difference, however, is that LSE sufferers become fearful and anxious in situations where no obvious danger is present and where those with healthy self-esteem would experience little or no fear and anxiety. Thus, the experiencing of these emotions is irrational at these times because the fear and anxiety is not based on reality, not on a true and present danger, not on fact.
Examples of situations in which those with LSE may experience this fear and anxiety are listed below. This is only a partial list; many more such situations exist. As you read this list, did other situations come to mind? Did you remember other examples that you have experienced?
If so, list them below: Each person has experienced different situations, and those mentioned here are only intended to demonstrate a wide variety of possible scenarios and reactions in hope that you will identify with some and learn from the others.
When asked a question or when given instructions to describe a memory, do not fret if you seem to have none. People with LSE commonly have difficulty remembering, especially when all or parts of the memory are painful or when the person has practiced blocking out their recall of traumatic events. When trying to remember your past, focus on where you lived at that particular time, who the significant people were in your life, what grade you were in, what subjects you liked or disliked, what interests you had.
Try to picture the rooms in your house, your bedroom. Try to remember your toys, your pets. Focusing on the surroundings can sometimes stimulate memories. Try to answer the questions in order, but if you cannot remember any specifics to write down, go ahead and read through the section, stopping to pause when asked to write.
If no memories come after three or four minutes, just continue this process until you come to the next section that tells you to read from Breaking the Chain… or to go work on a different obstacle. You can always come back to this as a later time.
The degree of fear and anxiety that any LSE sufferer experiences depends on the following factors: For instance, someone knowledgeable about sports may not be as anxious about attending a football party as he would be about attending an office party where the conversation will likely be broader in content and might enter into realms in which he feels less adequate.
Or someone who feels confident at his job may do fine at a work or at a business meeting where he is certain he knows the facts, but will experience extreme anxiety at a business luncheon, where more social skills are called for.
The significance the LSE sufferer places on the particular people involved or the outcome. The LSE sufferer may feel totally comfortable around friends but experience extreme anxiety around coworkers whose opinions about her could affect how she is treated at work.
Or an individual may feel extremely anxious and fearful about giving a presentation where his future father-in-law or someone else of significance will be present, knowing this person has the power to positively or negatively influence his future.
Thus, even among those with similar degrees of low self-esteem, the amount of anxiety each person experiences may vary. No one other than the LSE sufferer can realize the degree of foreboding or measure the impact experienced when anticipating or doing something he lacks confidence doing. The twofold job of recovery from LSE, then, is to: Dismantle the dysfunctional puzzle, analyzing the pieces that created this problem called low self-esteem—the critical and damaging messages received in childhood and where they came from, and to dismantle the distorted and irrational thinking, the negative and inaccurate feedback that sufferers deliver to themselves, and the behavior that results.
Gradually begin altering the thinking patterns that accompany LSE so that we are free to make healthy choices and to behave in healthy ways.
You will now embark on a pilgrimage toward recovery by taking a number of excursions that illuminate the experiences that those with low self-esteem encounter and the ways in which they react. Additionally, examining the difficulties that others with LSE have faced can help us to realize that we are not alone—that the patterns of self-defeating behavior we exhibit are not uniquely strange but are rather typical of those who suffer from LSE.
As you proceed on your journey you will move from observing the self-defeating thinking and behaviors of others to focusing on your own, which is essential for recovery. After reading these chapters, return to page 27 in this workbook to continue your journey toward recovery. Remember this premise. What does the phrase mean? You perceive something, you talk to yourself about your observations or conclusions, and then feelings occur that are in line with your self-talk.
These steps take place very quickly, almost instantaneously. However, what LSE sufferers tell themselves is often distorted, inaccurate, and not based on fact; their self-statements are the conclusions of a frightened, lonely, underdeveloped, or under-socialized person. What if what you tell yourself is the result of information, values, and feedback taught you as a child by adults who were dysfunctional and unhealthy?
What then will be the consequences for your life?
A life controlled by LSE, a life filled with frustration, misery, anger, and remorse. In Chapter 3 of Breaking the Chain… Paris talks himself out of going golfing with his coworkers after worrying that he may not be nearly as good as they are and may even make a fool of himself, how his coworkers would probably have negative thoughts about him and even talk about him among themselves, and how he would be anxious from then on wondering what they were thinking and saying about him.
In other words, Paris talked to himself until he became so frightened and fearful that he had to refuse the invitation. This is typical behavior for those with moderate to severe low self-esteem. As you embark on your journey, you will want to focus on the specific ways that you, like Paris, sabotage your own life by saying negative things to yourself which stir up negative emotions that prevent you from doing things you would like to do.
How thinking and self-talk dictate our feelings 2A Thus if we are contemplating going back to college, we will tell ourselves that we are likely to fail and we may either decide not to enroll or find another way to self-destruct. We may go late to class, sit in. Can you think of a time when you have played it safe rather than risk possible rejection and later regretted it. Maintaining the job we have will become more important than risking possible rejection.
Or we might approach that person feeling self-conscious. If we tell ourselves that we are undeserving. Describe something similar that has happened to you. Did reading the above paragraph remind you of a time when you were too fearful to do something you really wanted to do? Describe your own example here. Rewriting the Script the back. Describe that here. Describe a time when this happened to you. In doing so. If we are unwilling to look at our shortcomings or to examine the stages of development our dysfunctional families failed to teach us.
Does this keep you from attending functions or from being comfortable when you do? Write what you remember about such an occasion. Do you ever feel that you are behind your peers in social development?
Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem
In what social situations do you have the most difficulty? Feeling too vulnerable to let others see our gifts for fear they will denigrate our work. Describe this situation. The older we get. When have you found yourself fearful of exposing your creativity to others? When have you feared ridicule or criticism and either kept your talent hidden or ceased to use it? Give an example or two. This may lead us into relationships with unhealthy people who dominate and even abuse us.
If we downplay our talents by telling ourselves that we have nothing unique to offer.
Rewriting the Script are okay the way we are. When have you viewed yourself as less significant than others? In what ways did you expect either too much or too little of others? If we tell ourselves we are less important than others.
We may become passive. If we tell ourselves we are less capable or less deserving than others. Believing that this is the best we can do. When have you given up your dreams and settled for less than you wanted? In what ways have you done this? Describe how and when you did this. If we have difficulty trusting others and we become too watchful of those we love. Unless we communicate our fears and clarify our observations.
Rewriting the Script love us. We may tell ourselves that they would act in specific ways if they truly cared about us and we may misread their intentions or their behavior and feel betrayed. We may become too conservative and change the behaviors that made us successful or in other ways sabotage ourselves. When have you sabotaged yourself after achieving success? How did you do this? Do you have difficulty trusting those who say they love you? What do they do or not do that causes you to suspect they are not trustworthy?How thinking and self-talk dictate our feelings 2A Original Title.
Your own unused copy of this workbook 2. The following are examples of times and ways that people with LSE have engaged in self-sabotaging behavior. When a new and thus unfamiliar opportunity arises, he tries to analyze it, looking for similarities to past negative events. Do you feel others are out to get you? Did you become anxious?
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